Isaid, “I’d like a greenhouse.”  I also picked up some windows I could use to build one.

“When are you building the greenhouse?” I didn’t really mean to build one, I just noted it would be nice to have one. I’ve had three before–they were all kits and crap–all caved in or died in their first few New England snowstorms.

Greenhouses aren’t dummy proof–they have to be properly built and you have to know how to use them. I didn’t know either.

First of all, never get a kit for a greenhouse unless it’s really high end. The cheap ones are packed by comedians who are filming your yard with a satellite cam to use as material for their next opening skit. You’d think it’d be easy to screw some things together and put plants inside, but there are metal parts, panels, everything’s just a little off what you need it to be to actually come together.

It’s a multi-swear operation.

My second greenhouse was more expensive than my first–so I expected it to hold up in the New England winter. The first one felt the first cold wind and tapped out, “You win,” it said to Mother Nature. “I’m going to Florida to do citrus.”

Number Two stood up, for the most part, but the panels blew out. Finally, I taped them in solid. But, you shouldn’t have to tape a greenhouse, so Number Three–in the side of the new garden in the new house–it was an easy-to assemble arc with a fitted cover. Just when I thought it was going to survive, it caved in.

That’s why, “I think I’d like a greenhouse,” meant this time I’d have to pick up a hammer and some nails.

I have some problems with construction. The main one is that I’ve never framed anything before. Instead of a “measure twice, cut once” person, I’m generally an eyeball it sort of “measure never, cut a million times” type of girl.

But, I have powertools, and was amassing a pile of salvaged building materials. We had an idea–the drunk deck.

The drunk deck is a rotted swimming pool deck with no rail. We stack our winter “to be split” woodpile where the pool used to be. We don’t have parties, but if we did, that wood would stop drunk people from falling off the deck.

I was going to take the drunk deck down, but I noticed the steel rods holding it up level.

Steel rods. And… level.

“All you have to do is throw some marine ply on the deck and it’s fine. Build the greenhouse on there,” my husband said.  As luck would have it, we found some non-marine plywood salvaged. The deck is now as good as new, waiting for its greenhouse.

All I have to do is build it.